You know you're in the Mother-Hood when...

You Know You're in the MotherHood When...

You've sniffed a spot on your shirt and been able to determine the origin of said spot with CSI efficiency.

You let someone see you basically naked because he said he was an anesthesiologist.

It's a good day if you actually had time to shower, without interruptions or an audience of any kind.

Your meal plan has consisted of eating whatever mac and cheese is left in the pot after you've served it to the kids.

A drawing of you with a head the size of a watermelon is the prettiest picture you've ever seen.

Everyone but you being asleep counts as "alone time."

You feel a sense of accomplishment if you read an entire article in People magazine in one sitting.

You can name 3 out of 5 Backyardigans - you know you can.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Life Under the Big Top

Observing people navigating their way through relationships is a lot like going to the circus. New couples, in their blinded state of bliss gaze at the brilliantly colored tents. They breath in the sweet aromas wafting through the air (they are obviously standing near the funnel cake tent, not the elephant tent.)
Couples, married or not, that have been together awhile appreciate the grandeur, but aren't so blinded by it that they don't see the piles left behind by the parade horses, and are mindful to keep their soles clear. And then there are those who are getting out of those relationships that stepped in too many piles – those are the people in the stands with cracker jack-daniels, looking up at the high wire act, wondering how they managed to balance on such a thin rope for so long before they realized all they had to do was let themselves fall into a safety net and start over.
Are you getting the sense that I have more than a few friends who have teetered on this rope?
I've put on my ring leader's top hat and whirled around to find several friends at the circus.
Some of them had to tame lions, some of them had to ditch a clown, but all of them have a few things in common. The first of which is, with no “inner whip to crack”, they lacked the ability to say no. Important lesson to learn. Putting yourself first and saying no once in awhile will help you avoid feeling like the first one squished into the clown car. Like Nancy Reagan said, “Just Say No.” Or, if the situation calls for more of a Whitney-Diva response, “Hell to the NO!”
The second is, being the one who guesses everyone's weight at the circus is not a fun job. Granted, couples don't go around speculating weight changes much, but these women I speak of spent A LOT of their time and energy trying to read their partner's mood. Trying to guess the actual meaning behind the body language and the sarcastic comments was exhausting. I think they would agree they'd rather be shot out of the circus cannon then spend more time playing Kreskin with a moody clown.
When couples say they want open and honest communication they both have to mean it. If some clown hears honesty, but then roars defensively and spends the next three ring act telling you how negative you are – it's time to move on to another attraction.
Maybe a virtual reality booth where, instead of undressing someone with your eyes, you duct tape their mouth shut? At least long enough for you to finish a complete sentence without being interrupted or argued with.
I think the hardest lesson these women had to learn was, just like at the circus, the performing monkeys don't always want to perform. Maybe they have a monkey migraine. Maybe they ate one too many bananas the night before. Point being, monkeys have bad days too; and that's okay.
One of my dearest friends had this problem. She'd put on a whole three ring production to try and make her sad clown a happy clown. She'd all but sing, dance and make balloon animals to pull the clown out of his funk. It took her a long time to figure out that he painted that sad, pouty expression on his face, and he was the only one who could change it. (Currently, this particular clown is at clown school, learning how to paint his own smiles on, as my friend has washed her hands of his clown makeup.)
So here's the thing. Life under the big top is not always confetti and trumpets. Sometimes it's messy and confusing. Sometimes you feel like you've seen the same act a hundred times. Most of the time you're in a juggling act. But, if you find someone who makes sure you don't get squished in the clown car and helps you watch out for those piles – it makes it the greatest show on Earth. Oh, and don't forget about the funnel cakes!

1 comment:

Jennifer Bohnart said...

awesome!!!!! you are seriously amazing and have a gift!