You know you're in the Mother-Hood when...

You Know You're in the MotherHood When...

You've sniffed a spot on your shirt and been able to determine the origin of said spot with CSI efficiency.

You let someone see you basically naked because he said he was an anesthesiologist.

It's a good day if you actually had time to shower, without interruptions or an audience of any kind.

Your meal plan has consisted of eating whatever mac and cheese is left in the pot after you've served it to the kids.

A drawing of you with a head the size of a watermelon is the prettiest picture you've ever seen.

Everyone but you being asleep counts as "alone time."

You feel a sense of accomplishment if you read an entire article in People magazine in one sitting.

You can name 3 out of 5 Backyardigans - you know you can.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I'm Baaaaaaaaack

This is me. Blogging.
One year (and a little more, but let’s not get finicky) since my last blog.

Really? Has my life been so vanilla (no disrespect Robert Van Winkle) that there have been no “blog worthy events” in the last 12 months?
Sadly, no – my life has been very bloggable – but my creative juices have been very shriveled and raisin-like.
What little bits of creative juice smoothies I could squeeze out were used for my not-close-to-Pulitzer winning monthly articles in Search Parker and South Aurora Magazine. Hey, I’m published, I’m gonna plug it.

Tonight I was logging some much needed “adult time” – no offense to my beautiful children, but occasionally I enjoy speaking to people taller than 4 feet about subject matter that is anything BUT American Girls, the latest episode of “Good Luck Charlie” and playing the uber-fun game of “where’s my paci?”
Sitting next to a good friend, I was called out.
With no warning, I got a “You need to start blogging again!”
(Yes, she exclaimed this proclamation, it warranted an exclamation point.)
Relentlessly, she continued on, “your blogs are so funny, you should write more.” Without missing an beat, she leaned towards another buddy sitting across from her and asked, “have YOU ever read her blogs? They’re so great!” Again, exclamation point totally needed, she was excited, or liquored up, it’s hard to tell.

Nevertheless, the challenge was thrown – start blogging again.
Oh, and make it funny. No pressure.

So as I ponder where my best source of inspiration may lie – Walmart on Black Friday springs to mind – I promise you (my three and a half readers (I know at least one of you only skims the blog) this – I WILL blog more.
I WILL find more people to single out in odd circumstances and poke fun at them.
(Myself included.)
I WILL be overly sarcastic and borderline inappropriate when needed.
I WILL find uniquely absurd situations to shine a spotlight on and bring to your attention.

Here’s the first – when you’re at a restaurant and someone orders water, with extra lemon wedges, only to squeeze (half a lemon) into their glass then add sugar/Splenda/Truvia whatever to it – is that stealing lemonade or just a perk of creative ordering?

Discuss amongst yourselves, or blog about it – whatever works.

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